Day 4

This letter is one I am sharing with you... The topic is about being pregnant... If you weren't and adopted write about the wait, and the day you went to adopt... etc...

November 04, 2004
  Baby to be,
  I have worried about being able to conceive my own biological child since I was in my late 20's.  I have wanted to be a mother with such a desire. I was an Au pair to a little girl for 4 years, and I had so much enjoyment from her that I knew I could be a good mom. I was engaged to a man before your father and I could have gotten married or pregnant with him, but I did not want to have a child just to have one, although if you want a child badly one might do almost anything.  I wanted  a  loving "family" for you. I felt you having a network of people around you and a father who saw you daily would help you develop. I know some people loose their fathers to death, divorce and more, and I am sure the mothers make sure that there is a grandfather, uncle or brother to stand in and be that network.
  I am 36 years old when I write this and you are finally real to me, You are only just a grain of rice but You are there and you are real.  I feel like I will be old when you are in your 20's and for that I am sorry. I will try my hardest to keep up with you and be young and some what hip.  My own mother is turning 50 this year. She had me when she was 19. I can't imagine having a child that young, I would be such an imature mother if I conceived you at 19.
 I am happy you are here. I am happy to be your mother, I can't wait to meet you.
Love,
Your mother to be