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Friday, October 8, 2010

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I must apologize to my loyal readers.. in not changing my post since Sunday.. To my  new friends.. or people visiting from Smart and trendy moms..
Smart and Trendy Moms
Welcome...hello,  I love to write 3-5 times a week or everyday.. but I have been working on Medifast....trying to take shape for life... Have a look at my fall decor... for a moment.. while I try to explain myself.











  See... I love vegetables..cooked.. spinach, kale, collard greens you name it.. I love it.. but I love to bake... cute... pumpkin bars.. apple pie... chocolate anything... 
  SO what is the big deal ... Well,, It's a lot of shakes.. water.. ( which I like) and mixing powdered food with water.. and I am a texture person... SO eating eggs that are very much like cafeteria food.. is not exciting.. and eating soup that has no crackers.. or just a few ....is tough... Can I do it? I am not sure yet it has only been one week tomorrow... I don't look forward to the next snack or meal.. the pretzels are good and the cheese balls ok.. and I heard the pancake are good.. have not tried those yet... It is a well thought out program.. and I have had to seriously consider my relationship with food... I love to bake.. and this week my son wanted to make  sugar cookies.. and I thought if I make sugar cookies.. with him. *these are his fossil cookies.. he is very interested in fossils and  rocks.. thanks to my husband and my friends that took him to Howe cavern... but I did not eat ONE... not even.... so... willpower.. yes... for now..



. I am going to want to eat one.. or two or three. not exactly healthy.. or what I want to model for my son.. He does enjoy his sweets.. but he loves fruits.. and yogurt.. Stonyfield too... but I can't even eat apples.. and I went apple picking with him last weekend.. MY WILL power has always been good.. I was on weight watchers 2 years ago and I was working out in a terrific boot camp.. and I lost over 30 lbs.. but Yes, ladies.. I gained it all back last winter.. hording and storing as if I was some kind of mother bear.....
  I am 5'6 and my family back in the day.. had teased.. about my concave stomach.. I gained weight with my first fiancee... then when we broke up... I lost again.. Maybe the breakup diet works ...
 Then I went though some depression and the meds and me.. got bigger.. not a lot but maybe 10 lbs.
  Then I gained very little with my son... and then I breast fed... and worked.. and for some reason I was eating every 2 hours... and it felt like I was eating to help produce milk.. everyone told me I would loose breast feeding.. well, not me...
  So it brings me to now.. my husband cheated on me.. my son has NF1 and ADHD.. I am not working full-time and I am 197.. well I was Saturday when I started Medifast.. Today the scale said I weighed 190... so I lost about 7 lbs.. but I am not sure how much more of this I can endure... I would rather eat smaller portions of things I like.. but I made a deal with myself I hope I dont' break that I would do Medifast with my friends for one month.. so that is what I am going to do...
  I know how to eat right seriously I do I was brought up by my grandmother who had no sugar cereal in the home, no soda.. but yes, dessert.
  My grandmother and I ate fish, yogurt... and nuts.. and I love those things.. trouble is .. My body craves carbohydrates.. and sugar.. I have been checked for diabetes in the past.. and I have an appointment to check again...
  So I have been cooking the past 3 years.. and last year I loved to cook dinners.. and add them to my blog.. but some of the dinners ... were to high in calories.. for dinner.. or I had seconds... I was eating rice... and not brown rice... I was eating egg noodles.. often.. I know how to eat.. but I have been falling off the wagon again and again..


 I love to bake so much.. that I thought the reason why maybe.. I did not like medifast.. so much is that I missed the baking... so I followed a recipe to empty... all your oatmeal packets... together and add baking soda... and cinnamon... and water and a scrambled egg packet powder.. and I got these amazing looking muffins.. but they were sadly.. not that amazing... to eat.. I like brown rice.. and I have baked with brown flour and stevia.. and I think they tasted better than... my medifast oatmeal muffins.. but I have not given up yet...


Lots of people have vices... wine..sweets....gambling.... drugs...... Me it's food.. I am a FOODIE I had a man from college... show up in my life again at at reunion... and we began talking in emails as friends.. and one day he told me I was a FOODIE... and I was so offended.. but you know what I am.
  I worked for a business where my boss.. told me I associate food with fun.. and I thought so does everyone... she felt food and celebration were the reason that people were obese... I agree with  some of this.. because 4th of july is bbq food, Holidays are more food and cookies.. thanksgiving FOOD...birthdays food...Halloween.. candy... and more candy.. I am not willing to stop Halloween... or not allow my son to go.. but all of this needs to be looked at... is this bad???? no except.. I am not able to always say NO.. and if you do.. people look at you strange.. Some schools have begun the no cupcake on your birthday... rule.. to cut down on the amount of sugar our children eat.. and all the packaged food is full of it... I think I read that we have 60 spoonfuls of sugar a day... on average... WOW!!!!! I try to limit my son's sugar because of the ADHD... but I still love cupcakes.. for parties.. and halloween candy in moderation.. I don't let him have his whole bag... ever...
  I believe food in moderation is best.. but what happens when you can't moderate... 197 lbs is what happens...
  
  SO I am sorry my posts have been MIA and that I have been so preoccupied with mixing and stirring the shakes, soup and puddings that have become my life...
 I am sorry that I am over thinking my food intake... my food choices.. my relationship with food. I have tried to write a few less recipes... for now.. and try to stay away from recipes that just reek of sugar... but it's a long road... and I am only half way there.....
   So please bear with me....
   I have cheated a bit.. I have added a bit of salt.. walnuts... to my salad ... and one day a few craisins...

2 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sounds like a rough week - and more!
You have to do what works for YOU. Smaller portions works for me - and avoiding the temptation to chow down junk food at 9pm at night.
You can do it!

Shelley said...

I have been doing the Couch to 5 K program, if I was eating better I would probably see more weight flying off. I am your newest follower from the blog hop. I hope you can follow back and check out my latest giveaways.
God Bless,
Shelley
http://mylifeadventurebyme.blogspot.com/2010/10/blog-hops.html

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