Tuesday, April 13, 2010
M is for Mother
and married to a women name Lorna who was and is my step-mom. My mother was 19 when she had me. I lived with my grandmother on 16 acres of land, with 2 standard poodles. I played alone alot, but I loved it and we had no Television so my grandmother and I would create art and paint - one of the reasons why I think I am so creative. (Although, I am not an artist in the sense of drawing or painting things, more abstract)
My grandmother is also very close to my 4 year old son, I try to document all the things they do with notes, and photos as my son may not remember her when she is not hear any more.
My mother is very funny and sometimes very inappropriate- I would call her a crazy pal not my mother but she did carry me for 9 months so this counts for something, and I know in her own way, she loves me.
So how can a women be a good mother... I am sure it's up to inturpetation... but I think these are good hints
1. If you are married, let your children witness that you sincerely love and respect their father, your husband. This will teach children to know that love and respect are important in a home, it also prepares them to be loving and affectionate to their own mate, when the times comes. My father did this with my step-mother and even though we would kid around and say... EWWW take it to the bedroom I am sure we secretly were happy for them.
2. Quality time for just you and your child and if you have more than one - time separetly to talk or to just hang out.
3. Be a positive and moral role model
4. Do not be a buddy but a parent
5.Listen effectively to your children
6.Try to stay away from the negative behavior and only comment on the positive when you can.
7. Teach your children manners they are never old fashioned- teach them to be respectful
8. Teach your children to help others, a neighbor or family member
9. Teach your child that not everyone is trustworthy
10.Teach the best way you know how that arrogance is not attractive but confidence is.
11.Teach your children the meaning of friendship
12.Teach your children to be an honest person and to walk in integrity in their daily lives. We reap what we sow.
13.If you believe in God than teach your children about him
14. Teach your children to respect their elders, this is something that the new generation does not do well.
I have a book entitled 2,002 ways to show your kids you love them by Cyndi Haynes it gives lots of wonderful ideas to do with your child and great motivators when you are stuck!!! Here are a few of my favorites along with putting notes in there lunch boxes.
applaud your child's talents
tell your child what you have learned by your mistakes
Empower your child through fair and wise rules of conduct.
be sure you know cpr and the heimlich manever
Read to your child even if they are older
Mothers' of special needs children are Mother Warriors, that's what Jenny McCarthy calls them in her book entitled just that Mother Warriors
Some mothers of children who have special needs feel they are alone but they are not. I am a mother of a child with special needs, my son does not have autism, he has Neurofibromatosis, or NF1. It is a lifelong disorder that encompasses a set of distinct genetic disorders that cause tumors to grow along nerves and can affect the developments of bones and skin. In Jenny's book she advocates for her son, and talks about mothers who hear bad news about there children but believe in miracles and are able to carry on with strength and determination even if her partner doubts her or offers her no support.
So I read a book recently Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah and the two main people in the book are Kate and Tully. In the book Tully's birth mom, never really wants her, and one time she comes to take Tully and Tully is so happy but then the mother leaves her as a young child alone in a crowded street, and does not come back. It breaks my heart to think of the kids that are not wanted, or the mothers who don't feel what I feel, some would argue that they are NOT mothers. I just feel for the child.
Mother's day is fast approaching so tell your mother what you love about her on the phone in a card or even an email today. I read my son Tomie de Paola's new book last night. If you love him or even if you don't
look for it in a library or bookstore near you.
IF your not a mother and are unable to conceive, I wish you a miracle, if you are a single mother- know your child will grow to appreciate you and know what you did for them. IF you are a women who is older and feel you may never have a child than adopt or "borrow" a friends child to send gifts to, or take on a day trip to the zoo, hershey park or the aquarium, your friend will thank you for the "time off" and your bond with her child will grow and you will feel like a "mother".
Hope you did not think my MOM post was MUNDANE
Tomorrows post is about Nuiances stay tuned...
I have reposted this post for Holly at 504 Main she does a great tickled pink feature on Fridays go visit.
Posted by LisaRenee @ LisaRenee Fogarty
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