So words that have come to mind are: yes C words-and lots of them.
Chaos
Conflict
Crave
control
Clinical
concern
I love my son. I adore him. I would lay down my life for him. but my son is hard to be with... much of the time. As a mother no one wants to hear this from me. As a mother I thought my heart was so big... I would never feel this.. I want inner calm. I want self-restraint. I want the conflicts to stop reaching a point of survival instincts and to just stay maternal instincts. Am I making sense to anyone? I want a magical mother's heart.
I know many ADD adults and children crave risk,conflict,they have rampant anxiety....
I am trying very hard this 2011... to be calm.. when dealing with my son's impulsivity and his need for instant gratification. I want to be calm when he says he is not going to school.and when he stages a revolt daily. I want him to learn coping skills. My husband never sees the hard work I have done with him, or the calm I keep for 40 minutes or longer about a certain task or demand my son has made.. He seems to come home when I am frothing and look like the mean mom, and my son looks like the victim... crying and sad. I know special needs children require much attention.. and they can break up families. I know the statistics.. Young adults with attention deficit disorder have 4 times as many car accidents as those who aren't affected. 5 times the rate of suicide attempts, and 10 times as many teen pregnancies. I know they are more than twice as likely to be arrested, and upt o 3 times as likely to abuse alcohol and drugs... see my battle. see my concern????
I want my new words to be
Calm
Carry on
Caring
Toni Morrison says,"The best gift a mother can give her child is to light up when he/she enters the room."
this is what I need to do.. to fill my son's self-esteem.. to try to see him in his world.. I won't let him be spoiled or treat me or anyone poorly or rudely but I must show him my love with out yelling so .. once again my motto for 20111 is Stay calm and carry on.
4 comments:
Love your blog!
Dropping by from Sits to say hi!
Lovely blog!
Sweet blog! You'll get through it. I had this issue with my first child when he was about 4. Now he's 10 and no one would believe me if I told him he rivaled Curious George years ago!
Lisa,
I can see your challenges, but you as a MOM, need coping tools for you.
Time out for you to regroup and come back into the situation, calm. I use to have a box on top of my fridge. I read about this somewhere. It was a stress box, I had one of those squishy balls to squeeze, peppermint candle or chapstick...peppermint calms me. Tea bags, no caffeine, calm types and a few cut out joke clippings.
And a few photos that would always remind me of some precious moments.
It only takes a few minutes, if you can't get away to regroup.
Take Care~
xXx
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