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Friday, September 3, 2010

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I have been writing my childhood memories..as part of a challenge by Janna at Mama's piggy tales
today is 11th grade... next Thursday... I finish... with 12th grade... She is starting a new group... soon if you are interested hop on over to.www.mommyspiggytales.com.  Eleventh grade.... was the year.... someone should have noticed.... should have noticed all my faults... but no one did... and if they did.. they did not follow thru.....
  I should have seen the signs... and had my own wake-up call... or even my grandmother... but no one did. I would write long creative stories for English or write a essay for Social Studies... The paper would come back with lots of red marks... but a good grade.. the notes would usually say things like:
* Love your ideas,,, but too many spelling mistakes....* I was boggled down by run-ons... but kept reading as you have a very creative, fun way of writing.. that keeps the reader interested* Better get spell check....It was not just spelling and grammer... It was math... I failed algebra 2 times... oh, and my locker.. couldn't remember the combination until almost graduation... and then I wrote it on my hand... I had a hard time remembering where classrooms even were for months.. and could not manage my time from locker, to bathroom, to class. I guess none of this raised any eye brows.. because... I was a well behaved young lady... Maybe the teachers thought I was stupid.... or lazy... or both...
   Then came S.A.T. time and boy was that upsetting....I met with my guidance counselor.. who had been my mom's guidance counselor.. my mom had me at 19 if you remember... and the counselor asked if I wanted to go to college... I said I wanted to teach Pre-K and he told me that I would need a 2 year degree... so he said are you going right away??? I said I wasn't sure.. My family had not discussed college with me at all.. My Dad may not have wanted to pay for it... and my mom... she didn't pay for anything... and my grandmother was not in a position...as she was not working...So... I thought 2 years would be fine.. if I could pass Math and spell better... I liked school.. the people.. the teachers.. new books.. fun assignments that challenged me... but school work was difficult for me.. especially formulating sentences.. and managing my time... and outlines... So the guidance counselor told me not to take the S.A.T's to just apply to the community college and they would screen me... and put me in any necessary remedial classes.. Remedial.. I had not been in any remedial classes yet... maybe this is just what I needed.
  Eleventh grade become my sick year... I had Mono in 3rd grade.. and ever since then the doctors said my immune system was off.. I had been out of school for 3 weeks, that definitly did not help my math skills missing that much school. In eleventh grade... after track meets or going to the lake with my friends... or doing to much I would get exhausted.. and sleep for hours... and I would get a rash across my nose... and blisters in my mouth... I went to the doctor so many times.. and I was the antibiotic queen for awhile... Only to find out later and I mean much later 28... I was diagnosed with LUPUS.
  All in all even if I had a great boyfriend,  tried to put the rape behind me... I was still a very happy person... a bit negative at times about my health... and how difficult it was for me to stay focused... and organized... I think about 11th grade now in anger.. Anger that know one could be my advicate.. that could speak up for me and say I needed a tutor or extra extra help.. I know there was not services.. then.. but I had and have A.D.H.D. and I believe it was not a crutch but a huge boulder.. I carried around.. trying to figure out why my world seemed so difficult and everyone else seemed to do the things with ease.. 11th grade I was late for work after getting into a silly but very upsetting argument with my mother.. and I jumped out of my car at work and ran inside it was a chilly winters day... and about 4 hours later someone told me, "hey your car is outside in the parking lot running with the keys locked inside...." Another sign....
  Some recently heard my story... and this is what they said.... DO you agree?
" What if the exper4iences most people label as "bad" end up being some of the most precious transformational tools you ever encountered?"

1 comment:

MommaHarms said...

Back "then" there just weren't as many services as there are now. Sorry it was so rough for you, but I agree with the quote. These trials make us who we are today.

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