Free 28 Day Holiday Challenge

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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

day 13

So two days left of my series of letter writing
here is a letter I wrote to my 4 year old son, for him to find some day regardless if I am young or old.
Dear Aiden,
 I hope I have been a good mother, and not a disappointment to you. I am sure I angered you or embaressed you once or twice.
 I think of how growing up I envied other families that were not divorced. I hope I am able to give you a feeling of family and home regardless of what happens to or in our family.
  I want you to know how hard I worked to advocate for services for speech and O.T  for you. Some of my family thought I was crazy and said, He's fine it will come don't rush it. I was not trying to rush your delays I was trying to give you the best jump on help I knew how. I struggled silently with A.D.D and a learning disability growing up and although, it's no one's fault it cost me things I wanted to be or do.
 I read to you when you were growing in my "tummy" and I hope I have instilled in you a love of reading as my grandmother , your Nan instilled in me. I have a love of literature and I believe you do too.
  When you don't listen or make me angry I do scold you and sometimes too firmly, but I don't want you to be disrespectful to teachers, women or people and I don't want you to be rude or spoiled.
 You make my heart melt now and I bet you will continue to do that for years to come. I find you so handsome. I love the conversations we have about worms, love, life and being a 'sushi chef". You had sushi with me one day recently and you said," look what he does with that rice, and then he turns it into sushi." it's magic- I want to be a sushi chef when I get big. Aiden you can be anything you want.
 My hopes for you are to go to college if that is what you wish, and I hope you have a good balance of studying and fun. So many men in there 40's are still smoking pot and that is a waste of money and brain cells. I DO NOT want that life for you.
  If I did when you are still young I know it could be difficult and if I could stay longer I would.
I lost my dad papa Steve when I was 35 and not married yet. It was sudden and I did not get to tell him all that I wanted he was only 52. If you think you had so much to tell me if I go early, You can talk to me, I am sure I will be listening. Please keep my memory alive and in your heart.
 I hope our relationship although, it will change over the years stays strong and that you feel you can call and want to call me once a week. I know women in my neighborhood who's son's live nearby and they never visit and rarely call, this makes me so sad.
 I leave you now but know I love and loved you deeply.
Mom

1 comment:

Holly Lefevre said...

I am almost ready to cry. That letter was sweet and wonderful and he will so appreciate it one day. Little boys can make their mommy's hearts melt...look at that boy he is quite handsome!

Holly

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